ferring to another occasion my further animadversions and objections to the Moolah Alaverdi's plan, as entirely inapplicable to large insides.

I shall omit the Persian titles of Serang, Sultaun, &c. and adopt, as near as may be, the corresponding terms in English, as more intelligible. The court being solemnly assembled, seated, and served with pipes and coffee, the charges were brought forward and read aloud by the secretary, Minikin, with all the emphasis of nasal monotony of which the language is so peculiarly susceptible.

The indictment, or accusation, is against Ensign Chubby, of the sweetmeat battalion, and is divided into three separate charges of misde

meanor.

First, for most improper, indecent, disorderly behaviour in the public bazaar; having walked across the same without a veil, contrary to all military discipline, and the strict decorum of deportment absolutely imposed on all officers of the rank of Ensign Chubby.

Secondly, for unofficer and unlady-like conduct, totally subversive of all military discipline, in wantonly and cruelly wounding Corporal Dimple; and in using indelicate language to Major Rosebud, of the laundry department, an officer of irreproachable reputation, undeniable virtue, and mother of a large family by a lawful husband, from whose violent temper and cruel stick the Major had every thing to fear, had this slanderous imputation reached his ears.

Thirdly, that, in consequence of certain suspicions excited by the frequent absence of Ensign Chubby from duty, without assigning sufficient cause, a jury of discreet matronly officers had been appointed to examine the case; who, after the most careful investigation, report the aforesaid ensign to be some months advanced in a state, utterly unbecoming the character of a single officer and girl of honor.

Upon the first charge, it was clearly proved, by the testimonies of Captains Sloe-eye and Beauty, confirmed by Serjeant Languish, that on Thursday, the 6th of last moon, at or about the first hour, after calling mid-day prayers, Ensign Chubby walked twice across the jeweller's bazaar, with a

veil immodestly arranged, and only partially covering the face with one corner of it; two-thirds of the nose, at least, and one eye of the said ensign, being absolutely exposed to the public gaze. Moreover, that on turning the corner, just by the shawlmender's stall, leading to Hassan Ali Mirza's, the said Ensign stopped, and familiarly conversed, full five minutes, with a He Serjeant of the Shegaughies, then quartered in town, or passing through. The facts being clearly proved, the guilt of the Ensign was fully established.

Upon the second charge, the following facts were advanced, and most distinctly proved by a number of reputable witnesses. The respectable Major, whose superior knowledge and skill in all kinds of needle work is undisputed and admired by the whole corps, was kindly giving some instructions, how to cut out six chemises to the greatest advantage from a piece of Indian muslin, to Corporal Dimple, who had undertaken to make and embroider them down the front, with the new Ispahaun pattern, for the lady Fatima. Ensign Chubby entered the chamber, and commenced conversation so as to bring a blush into the cheeks of every young soldier present. The Ensign continued in the same strain for a considerable period; at the same time throwing on one side the scissors; wilfully burning a thread paper of green silk; at last, heating the Major's r's best chased silver thimble in the mangal, and privately and maliciously replacing it at the moment that the honest corporal looked out a superfine needle to backstitch the left hand gusset of the second chemise. A horrid wound was inflicted upon the sewing finger of the unfortunate corporal; the celebrated Bandinjon cataplasm was speedily provided, and applied by the active exertions of the party; but unfortunately without that happy success which so frequently attends the operation of this far-famed remedy. The suffering object of this diabolical joke remains yet incapable of duty, civil or military; and, in consequence, the lady Fatima is deprived of the advantages of clean linen. No superior officer could witness such outrageous conduet without giving a reprimand to the offender, which, teel and lady-like language, provoked a most flippant reply. Finally, that the slanderous tongue of the aforesaid Ensign dared, in the presence of numerous witnesses, to contaminate the pure name of the virtuous major with an odious appellation.

To the third charge, the person of the ensign bore sufficient testimony of guilt. Accordingly, the court found the prisoner guilty on all and each of the accusations; and, without hesitation, unanimously declared their verdict. The president, Colonel Simper, of the kitchen guard, a chaste maiden officer, advanced in years, after a most delicate and pathetic discourse on the loveliness of virtue, in which the spotless purity of conduct requisite to embellish the character of a young soldier was finely illustrated, pronounced the sentence of the court: That Ensign Chubby, of the sweetmeat battalion, be degraded to the rank of a common soldier, and rendered incapable of ever again bearing a commission. The court, in the mean time, to prevent disgrace to the corps, will take care to provide a husband suitable to the present rank of the late Ensign.

following general orders have been issued and enforced through the whole harem. That no officer capable of bearing children shall presume to frequent the bazaars, markets, or other public places, without being attended by a reputable old woman. It is also highly recommended to young officers to wear the Indian corsets, for the better preservation of their shapes.

The practice of soldiers suckling their children on parade, having introduced various and considerable disorders in the discipline requisite for all good troops, male and female; the same is strictly forbidden from this day. Nevertheless, the king of kings, ever careful of the well-being of his army, condescends, in his excelling bounty, to grant one hundred and eighty days leave of absence to all soldiers seven moons gone with child, for the purpose of being confined, and suckling the said child during its tenderest infancy; provided always that the same be lawfully begotten in wedlock, and that no disparagement be brought upon the corps by its birth.

Teheran.

J. W. W.

:

This orange we mean to squeeze for the public use. Where an author is poor, this is wrong: but Miss Hawkins being upon her own acknowledgment rich (p. 125), keeping "a carriage, to the propreté of which she is not indifferent," (p. 253), and being able to give away manors worth more than 1000l. per annum, (p. 140), it is most clear that her interests ought to bend to those of the public; the public being really in very low circumstances, and quite unable to buy books of luxury and anecdotage.

Who is the author, and what is the book? The author has descended to us from the last century, and has heard of little that has happened since the American war. She is the

daughter of Sir John Hawkins--known to the world,-1st, as the historian of Music-2d, as the acquaintance and biographer of Dr. Johnson-3d, as the object of some vulgar gossip and calumnies made current by Mr. Mr. Bos

well. Her æra being determined,the reader can be at no loss to deduce the rest: her chronology known, all is known. She belongs to the literati of those early ages who saw Dr. Johnson in the body, and conversed in the flesh with Goldsmith, Garrick, Bennet Langton, Wilkes and liberty, Sir Joshua, Hawkesworth, &c. &c. All of these good people she "found" (to use her own lively expression) at her father's house: that is, upon her earliest introduction to her father's drawing room at Twickenham, most of them were already in possession. Amongst the "&c. &c." as we have classed them, were some who really ought not to have been thus slurred oversuch as Bishop Percy, Tyrwhitt, Dean Tucker, and Hurd: but others absolutely pose us. For instance, does the reader know any thing of one Israel Mauduit? We profess to know nothing; no, nor at all the more for his having been the author of Considerations on the German War (p.7): in fact, there have been so many German wars since Mr.

Mauduit's epoch, and the public have since then been called on to " consider" so many "considerations," that Miss Hawkins must pardon us for declaring, that the illustrious Mauduit (though we remember his name in Lord Orford's Memoires) is now defunct, and that his works have followed him. Not less defunct than Mauduit is the not less illustrious Brettell. -Brettell!What Brettell? - What Brettell!Why, "wonderful old Colonel Brettell of the Middlesex Militia," (p. 10,) "who, on my requesting him, at eighty-five years of age, to be careful in getting over a five-barred gate, replied-Take care of what? Time was, when I could have jumped over it." "Time was!" he says, was; but how will that satisfy posterity?

what proof has the nineteenth century that he did it, or could have done it? So much for Brettell, and Mauduit. But last comes one who "hight Costard:" and here we are posed indeed. Can this be Shakspeare's Costard-every body's Costard-the Costard of Love's Labour's Lost? But how is that possible ?says a grave and learned friend at our elbow. I will affirm it to be impossible. How can any man celebrated by Shakspeare have visited at Twickenham with Dr. Johnson?That indeed, we answer, deserves consideration: yet, if he can, where would Costard be more naturally found than at Sir John Hawkins's house, who had himself annotated on Shakspeare, and lived in company with so many other annotators, as Percy, Tyrwhitt, Steevens, &c.? Yet again, at p.10, and at p.24, he is called "the learned Costard." Now this is an objection; for Shakspeare's Costard, the old original Costard, is far from learned. But what of that? He had plenty of time to mend his manners, and fit himself for the company of Dr. Johnson: and at p. 80, where Miss Hawkins again affirms that his name was "always preceded by the epithet learned," she candidly admits that "he was a feeble

T

ailing - emaciated man, who had all the appearance of having sacrificed his health to his studies:" as well he might, if he had studied from Shakspeare's time to Dr. Johnson's. With all his learning, however, Costard could make nothing of a case which occurred in Sir John Hawkins's grounds; and we confess that we can make no more of it than Costard. " In a paddock," says Miss Hawkins, " we had an oblong piece of water supplied by a sluice. Keeping poultry, this was very convenient for ducks:-on a sudden, a prodigious consternation was perceived among the ducks: they were with great difficulty persuaded to take to the water; and, when there, shuddered-grew wet-and were drowned. They were supposed diseased; others were bought at other places;

but in vain! none of our ducks could swim. I remember the circumstance calling out much thought and conjecture. The learned George Costard, Dr. Morton, and the medical advisers of the neighbourhood were consulted: every one had a different supposition; and I well recollect my own dissatisfaction with all I heard. It was told of course to Mr. and Mrs. Garrick. Mrs. Garrick would not give credit to it: Garrick himself was not incredulous; and after a discussion, he turned to my father with his jocose impetuosity, and said- There's my wife, who will not believe the story of these ducks, and yet she believes in the eleven thousand virgins.'" - Most probably the ducks were descended from that "which Samuel Johnson trod on," which, "if it had lived and had not died, had surely been an odd one:" its posterity therefore would be odd ones. However, Costard could make nothing of it: and to this hour the case is an unsolved problem-like the longitude or the north-west passage. But enough of Costard.

Of Lord Orford, who, like Costard, was a neighbour and an acquaintance of her father's, Miss H. gives us a very long account; no less than thirty pages (p.87-117) being dedicated to him on his first

introduction. Amongst his eccentricities, she mentions that "he made no scruple of avowing his thorough want of taste for Don Quixote." This was already known from the Walpoliana; where it may be seen that his objection was singularly disingenuous, because built on an incident (the windmill adventure) which, if it were as extravagant as it seems (though it has been palliated by the peculiar appearance of Spanish mills), is yet of no weight, because not characteristic of the work: it contradicts its general character. We shall extract her account of Lord Orford's person and abord-his dress and his address, which is remarkably lively and picturesque; as might have been expected from the pen of a female observer, who was at that time young.

"His figure was, as every one knows, not merely tall, but more properly long, and slender to excess; his complexion, and particularly his hands, of a most unhealthy paleness. I speak of him before the year 1772. His eyes were remarkably bright and penetrating, very dark and lively:-his voice was not strong; but his tones were extremely pleasant, and (if I may so say) highly gentlemanly. I do not remember his common gait: he always entered a room in that style of affected delicacy which fashion had then made almost natural; chapeau bras between his hands, as if he wished to compress it, or under his arm; knees bent; and feet on tip-toe, as if afraid of a wet floor. His dress in visiting was most usually (in summer when I most saw him) a lavender suit; the waistcoat embroidered with a little silver, or of white silk worked in the tambour; partridge silk stockings; and gold buckles; ruffles and frill generally lace. I remember, when child, thinking him very much under-dressed, if at any time, except in mourning, he wore hemmed cambric. In summer, no powder; but his wig combed straight, and showing his very smooth pale forehead, and queued behind; -in winter, powder." What an amusing old coxcomb!+

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