Vil. What's the matter, sir? Hyp. Sir, I'm this lady's husband, and, while I'm sure that name cann't be taken from me, I shall be contented with laughing at any other you or your party dare give me. D. Man. Oh! D. Lou. Nay, then, within there—such a villain ought to be made an example. Enter Corrigidore and Officers, with Don PHI- Oct. Confusion! D. Man. Oh, oh! D. Man. Oh, that I were buried! will my cares never be over? Hyp. They are pretty near it, sir; you cann't have much more to trouble you. Cor. Come, sir, if you please, I must desire to your affidavit in writing. take [Goes to the table with FLORA. D. Phil. Now, sir, you see what your own rashness has brought you to. How shall I be stared at when I give an account of this to my father, or your friends in Seville! you'll be the public jest; your understanding, or your folly, will be the mirth of every table. D. Man. Pray forbear, sir. Hyp. Keep it up, madam. [Aside to ROSARA. Ros. Oh, sir! how wretched have you made me! Is this the care you have taken of me, for my blind obedience to your commands? this my reward for filial duty? D. Man. Ah, my poor child! Ros. But I deserve it all for ever listening to your barbarous proposal, when my conscience might have told me my vows and person, in jus D. Phi. That's the person, sir, and I demand tice and honour, were the wronged Octavio's. your justice. Oct. And I. Flo. And all of us. D. Man. Will my cares never be over? Cor. Well, gentlemen, let me rightly understand what 'tis you charge him with, and I'll commit him immediately-First, sir, you say these gentlemen all know you to be the true Don Philip? D. Lou. That, sir, I presume, my oath will prove. Oct. Or mine. Trap. Ay, and mine, too, sir. D. Man. Where shall I hide this shameful head? Flo. And for the robbery, that I can prove upon him; he confessed to me at Toledo he stole this gentleman's pormanteau there to carry on his design upon this lady, and agreed to give me a third part of her fortune, for my assistance, which he refusing to pay as soon as the marriage was over, I thought myself obliged, in honour, to discover him. Hyp. Well, gentlemen, you may insult me if you please; but, I presume, you'll hardly be able to prove that I'm not married to the lady, or have not the best part of her fortune in my pocket; so do your worst; I own my ingenuity, and am proud on't. D. Man. Ingenuity, abandoned villain!-But, sir, before you send him to gaol, I desire he may return the jewels I gave him as part of my daughter's portion. Cor. That cann't be, sir-since he has married the lady, her fortune is lawfully his. All we can do, is to prosecute him for robbing this gentle man. D. Man. Oh, that ever I was born! Hyp. Return the jewels, sir! If you don't pay me the rest of her fortune to-morrow morning, you may chance to go to gaol before me. D. Man. Oh, oh! Oct. Can she repent her falschood then, at last! Is't possible! then I'm wounded, too! Oh, my poor, undone Rosara! [Goes to her.] Ungrateful, cruel, perjured man! how canst thou bear to see the light, after this heap of ruin thou hast raised, by tearing thus asunder the most solemn vows of plighted love! D. Man. Oh, don't insult me; I deserve the worst you can say—I'm a miserable wretch, and I repent me. Oct. Repent! can'st thou believe whole years of sorrow will atone thy crime? No; groan on; sigh and weep away thy life to come, and, when the stings and horrors of thy conscience have laid thy tortured body in the grave-then, thenas thou dost me, when it is too late, i'll pity thee. Vil. So! here's the lady in tears, the lover in rage, the old gentleman out of his senses, most of the company distracted, and the bridegroom in a fair way to be hanged-the merriest wedding that ever I saw in my life! Cor. Well, sir, have you any thing to say, before I make your warrant? [To HYPOLITA. Hyp. A word or two, and I obey ye, sirGentlemen, I have reflected on the folly of my action, and foresee the disquiets I am like to undergo, in being this lady's husband; therefore, as I own myself the author of all this seeming ruin and confusion, so I am willing (desiring first the officers may withdraw), to offer something to the general quiet. Oct. What can this mean? D. Phi. Psha! some new contrivance-Let's be gone. D. Lou. Stay a moment; it can be no harm to hear him-Sir, will you oblige us? Cor. Wait without [Exeunt Officers. Vil. What's to be done now, trow? Trap. Some smart thing, I warrant ye; the little gentleman hath a notable head, faith! Flo. Nay, gentlemen, thus much I know of him, that, if you can but persuade him to be honest, 'tis still in his power to make you all amends, and, in my opinion, 'tis high time be should propose it. D. Man. Ay, 'tis time he were hanged, indeed, for I know no other amends he can make us. Hyp. Then, I must tell you, sir, I owe you no reparation; the injuries which you complain of, your sordid avarice, and breach of promise here, have justly brought upon you-Had you, as you were obliged in conscience and in nature, first given your daughter with her heart, she had now been honourably happy; and, if any, I the only miserable person here. D. Lou. He talks reason. D. Phi. I don't think him in the wrong there, indeed. Hyp. Therefore, sir, if you are injured, you may thank yourself for it. D. Man. Nay, dear sir-I do confess my blindness, and could heartily wish your eyes, or mine, had dropped out of our heads before ever we saw one another. Hyp. Well, sir, (however little you have deserved it,) yet, for your daughter's sake, if you'll oblige yourself, by signing this paper, to keep your first promise, and give her, with her full fortune, to this gentleman, I'm still content, on that condition, to disannul my own pretences, and resign her. Oct. Ha! what says he? [GIVES HYPOLITA the writing gui Ros. Now, I tremble for her. Hyp. And now, Don Philip, I confess you u the only injured person here. D. Phi. I know not that-do my friend night, and I shall easily forgive thee. Hyp. His pardon, with his thanks, I am surel shall deserve; but how shall I forgive myself: Is there, in nature, left a means that can repair the shameful slights, the insults, and the long disquiets you have known from love? D. Phi. Let me understand thee! Hyp. Examine well your heart; and, if the fierce resentment of its wrongs has not exti guished quite the usual soft compassion there, revive at least one spark, in pity of my woman's weakness. D. Man. How! a woman! D. Phi. Whither wouldst thou carry me? Hyp. Not but I know you generous as the heart of love; yet let me doubt if even this low submission can deserve your pardon-don't look on me; I cannot bear that you should know me yct. The extravagant attempt I have this day D. Man. Sir, I don't know how to answer run through, to meet you thus, justly may so you; for I can never believe you'll have good-ject me to your contempt and scorn, unless the nature enough to hang yourself out of the way, to make room for him. Hyp. Then, sir, to let you see I have not only an honest meaning, but an immediate power to make good my word, I first renounce all title to her fortune: these jewels, which I received from you, I give him free possession of; and now, sir, the rest of her fortune you owe him with her person. Oct. I am all amazement ! D. Lou. What can this end in? D. Man. This is unaccountable, I must confess-But still, sir, if you disannul your pretences, how you'll persuade that gentleman, to whom I am obliged by contract, to part with his D. Phi. That, sir, shall be no let; I am too well acquainted with the virtue of my friend's title, to entertain a thought that can disturb it. Hyp. Then my fears are over.-[Aside.]— Now, sir, it only stops at you. D. Man. Well, sir, I see the paper is only conditional, and, since the general welfare is concerned, I won't refuse to lend you my helping hand to it; but, if you should not make your words good, sir, I hope you won't take it ill if a man should poison you. same forgiving goodness that used to overlook the failings of Hypolita prove still my friend, and soften all with the excuse of love. Oct. My sister! Oh, Rosara! Philip! {All seem amazed. D. Phi. Oh, stop, this vast effusion of my transported thoughts! ere my offending wishes break their prison through my eyes, and surfet on forbidden hopes again: or, if my tears are false, if your relenting heart is touched at last in pity of my enduring love, be kind at once, speak on, and awake me to the joy, while I have sense to hear you. Hyp. Nay, then I am subdued indeed! Is it possible, spite of my follies, still your generous heart can love? 'Tis so! Your eyes confess it, and my fears are dead. Why, then, should I blush, to let at once the honest fulness of my heart gush forth? Oh, Philip! Hypolita is-yours for ever! [They advance slowly, and at last rush into one another's arms.] D. Phi. Oh, ecstacy! Distracting joy! Do I then live to call you mine? Is there an end, last, of my repeated pangs, my sighs, my tor ments, and my rejected vows? Is it possible-is it she? Oh, let me view thee thus with aching eyes, and feed my eager sense upon the transD. Phi. And, sir, let me, too, warn you how port of thy love confessed! What, kind! and you execute this promise; your flattery and dis-yet-it is, it is Hypolita! and yet 'tis she! I had many a battle with my lady upon your account; but I always told her we should do her business at last. D. Man. Another metamorphosis! Brave girls, faith! Odzooks, we shall have them make cam know her by the busy pulses at my heart, which D. Ph. Oh, never! never shall thy empire cease! 'Tis not in thy power to give thy power away: this last surprise of generous love has bound me to thy heart, a poor indebted wretch, for ever. Hyp. No more: the rest the priest should say -but now our joys grow rude-here are our friends, that must be happy, too. D. Phi. Louis! Octavio! my brother now! oh forgive the hurry of a transported heart! D. Man. A woman! and Octavio's sister! Oct. That heart that does not feel, as 'twere its own, a joy like this, ne'er yet confessed the power of friendship nor of love. [Embracing him. D. Man. Have I then been pleased, and plagued, and frighted out of my wits by a woman all this while? Odsbud, she is a notable contriver! Stand clear, ho, for it I have not a fair brush at her lips-nay, if she does not give me the hearty smack, too, odswinds and thunder! she's not the good-humoured girl I took her for. Hyp. Come, sir, I won't baulk your good humour.-[He kisses her.]-And now I have a favour to beg of you: you remember your promise; only your blessing here, sir. OCTAVIO and ROSARA kneel. D. Man. Ah! I can deny thee nothing; and, since I find thou art not fit for my girl's business thyself, odzooks! it shall never be done out of the family-and so, children, Heaven bless you together! Come, I'll give you her hand myself, you know the way to her heart; and, as soon as the priest has said grace, he shall toss you the rest of her body into the bargain. And now my cares are over again. Oct. We'll study to deserve your love, sir.— Oh, Rosara! Ros. Now, Octavio, do you believe I loved you better than the person I was to marry? Oct. Kind creature! you were in her secret, then? Ros. I was, and she in mine. Oct. Sister! what words can thank you? D. Phi. Take this as an earnest of my thanks; in Seville, I'll provide for thee. Hup. Nay, here's another accomplice, tooconfederate I cannat say; for honest Trappanti did not know but that I was as great a rogue as himself. Trap. 'Tis a folly to lie; I did not indeed, madam-But the world cannot say I have been a rogue to your ladyship--and, if you had not parted with your money Hyp. Thou hadst not parted with thy honesty. Trap. Right, madam; but how should a poor naked fellow resist, when he had so many pistoles held against him? [Shews money. D. Man. Ay, ay; well said, lad. Vil. La! a tempting bait, indeed! let him offer to marry me again, if he dares. [Aside. D. Phi. Well, Trappanti, thou hast been serviceable, however, and I'll think of thee. Oct. Nay, I am his debtor, too. Trap. Ah, there's a very easy way, gentlemen, to reward me; and, since you partly owe your happiness to my roguery, I should be very proud to owe mine only to your generosity. Oct. As how, pray? Trap. Why, sir, I find, by my constitution, that it is as natural to be in love as an hungry, and that I ha'n't a jot less stomach than the best of my betters; and, though I have often thought a wife but dining every day upon the same dish, yet, methinks, it's better than no dinner at all: and, for my part, I had rather have no stomach to my meat, than no meat to my stomach: upon which consideration, gentlemen and ladies, I desire you'll use your interest with Madona here-to let me dine at her ordinary. D. Man. A pleasant rogue, faith! Odzooks! the jade shall have him. Come, hussy, he's an ingenious person. Vil. Sir, I don't understand his stuff; when he speaks plain, I know what to say to him. Trap. Why then, in plain terms, let me a lease of your tenement-marry me. Vil. Ay, now you say something-I was afraid, by what you said in the garden, you had only a mind to be a wicked tenant at will. Trap. No, no, child; I have no mind to be turned out at a quarter's warning. Vil. Well, there's my hand--and now meet me as soon as you will with a canonical lawyer, and I'll give you possession of the rest of the premises. D. Man. Odzooks! and well thought of! I'll send for one presently. Hear you, sirrah! run to Father Benedict again, tell him his work don't hold here; his last marriage is broke to pieces; but now we have got better tackle, he must come and stitch two or three fresh couple together, as Flo. Trusty Flora, sir, at your service. I have fast as he can. Enter Servant. Ser. Sir, the music's come. D. Man. Ah, they could never take us in a better time-let them enter-Ladies, and sons and daughters, for I think you are all akin to me now, will you be pleased to sit? [After the entertainment. D. Man. Come, gentlemen, now our collation waits. Enter Servant. Serv. Sir, the priest's come. D. Man. That's well; we'll dispatch him presently. D. Phi. Now, my Hypolita, Let our example teach mankind to love, EPILOGUE. 'MONGST all the rules the ancients had in vogue, While the proud Spaniards read old annals o'er, And wishes his young Quixote out of Spain: reign! For to the glorious conduct sure that drew boast. Proceed, auspicious Chiefs! inflame the war, Pursue your conquest, and possess the fair, That ages may record of them and you, They only could inspire what you alone could de THE CARELESS HUSBAND. BY CIBBER. PROLOGUE. Or all the various vices of the age, trash Deserves not satire's, but the hangman's lash. tame. No, sirs We rather think the persons fit for plays, And, 'tis observed, the garden of the mind A folly too well known to make its court We beg your wonted mercy to the player. |