Lop. Why, truly, sir, I think we are near at a | appearing gibbets, with a great bundle of dogwhips, by way of preparation. stand. Alv. 'Tis time, you villain you. Lop. Why, and I am a villain now, if every word I've spoke be not as true as-as the Gazette: And your daughter's no better than aa--a whimsical young woman, for making disputes among gentlemen. And if every body had their deserts, she'd have a good-I won't speak out, to inflame reckonings; but let her go, master. Alv. Sir, I don't think it well to spend any more words with your impudent and villainous servant here. Lop. Thank you, sir: but I'd let her go. Alv. Nor have I more to say to you than this, that you must not think so daring an affront to my family can go long unresented. Farewell. [Exit ALV. Lor. Well, sir, what have you to say for your self now? Lop. Why, sir, I have only to say, that I am a very unfortunate-middle-aged man; and that I believe all the stars upon heaven and earth have been concerned in my destiny. Children now unborn will hereafter sing my downfal in mournful lines, and notes of doleful tune: I am at present troubled in mind; despair around me, signified in I therefore will go seek some mountain high, Farewell. around. [Aside. Lor. No, sirrah, I'll see your wretched end myself. Die here, villain. [Drawing his sword. Lop. I can't, sir, if any body looks upon me. Lor. Away, you trifling wretch; but think not to escape, for thou shalt have thy recompence. [Exit LORENZO, LOPEZ solus. Why, what a mischievous jade is this, to make such an uproar in a family the first day of her marriage! Why, my master won't so much as get a honey-moon out of her. 'Egad, let her go. If she be thus in her soft and tender youth, she'll be rare company at threescore. Well, he may do as he pleases, but were she my dear, I'd let her go--such a foot at her tail, I'd make the truth bounce out at her mouth, like a pellet out of a pot-gun. [Exit. SCENE I. ACT IV. Isa. So that love, I find, can do any thing. Cam. Indeed it can: Its powers are wondrous great, its pains no tongue can tell, its bliss no heart conceive; crowns cannot recompence its torments, Heaven scarce supplies its joys. My stake is of this value: Oh, counsel me how I shall save it. Isa. Alas! that counsel's much beyond my wisdom's force: I see no way to help you. Cam. And yet 'tis sure there's one. Isa. What? Cam. Death. Enter CAMILLO and ISABELLA. Isa. 'Tis an unlucky accident indeed. Cam. Ah, Isabella! Fate has now determined my undoing. This thing can ne'er end here; Leonora and Lorenzo must soon come to some explanation; the dispute is too monstrous to pass over without farther inquiry, which must discover all, and what will be the consequence, I tremble at; for whether Don Alvarez knows of the imposture, or whether he is deceived, with the Isa. There possibly may be another, I have a rest of the world, when once it breaks out, and thought this moment-perhaps there's nothing the consequence is the loss of that great wealth in it; yet a small passage comes to my remenhe now enjoys by it, what must become of me? brance, that I regarded little when it happened All paternal affections then must cease, and re--I'll go and search for one may be of service. garding me as an unhappy instrument in the trou- But hold; I see Don Carlos: He'll but disturb ble which will then o'erload him, he will return us now; let us avoid him. me to my humble birth, and then I'm lost for ever. For what, alas! will the deceived Lorenzo say? A wife with neither fortune, birth, nor beauty, instead of one most plenteously endowed with all. O, Heavens! what a sea of misery I have Cam. Because I loved. Isa. And don't you do so now? [Exeunt CAMILLO and ISABELLA Enter Don CARLOS and SANCHO. Car. Repulsed again! This is not to be borne. What though this villain's story be a falsehood; was I to blame to hearken to it? This usage cannot be supported. How was it she treated thee? San. Never was ambassador worse received. Madam, my master asks ten thousand pardons, and humbly begs one moment's interview.-Be gone, you rascal you. Madam, what answer Cam. I do, and therefore 'tis I make these cruel shall I give my master?-Tell him he's a villain. just reflections. Indeed, fair lady, I think this is hasty treatment. San. 'Tis very true. college at Salamanca, and read philosophy with the doctors; where I found, that a woman, in all times, has been observed to be an animal hard to understand, and much inclined to mischief. Now, as an animal is always an animal, and a captain always a captain, so a woman is always a woman: Whence it is that a certain Greek says, her head is like a bank of sand; or, as another, a solid rock; or, according to a third, a dark lanthorn. Pray, sir, observe, for this is close reasoning; and so as the head is the head of the body, and that the body without a head is like a head without a tail, and that where there is neither head nor tail, 'tis a very strange body; so I say a woman is, by comparison, do you see, (for nothing explains things like comparisons ;) I say, by comparison, as Aristotle has often said before me, one may compare her to the raging sea; for as a sea, when the wind rises, knits its brows like an angry bull, and that waves mount upon rocks, and rocks mount upon waves; that porpusses leap like trouts, and whales skip about like gudgeons; that ships roll like beer-barrels, and mariners pray like saints; just so, I say, a woman—a woman, I say, just so, when her reason is shipwreck Gar. She might, methinks, through this profound respect observe a flame another would have cherished; she might support me against ground-ed upon her passion, and the bulk of her underless fears, and save me from a rival's tyranny; she might release me from these cruel racks, and would, no doubt, if she could love as I do. San. Ay. Car. I am a man, by nature meant for power; the scepter's given us to wield, and we betray our trust whenever we meanly lay it at a woinan's feet. San. True, we are men; hoo-Come, master, let us both be in a passion: here's my scep tre: [Shewing a cudgel:] subject Jacinta, look about you, Sir, was you ever in Muscovy? The women there love the men dearly: Why? because [Shaking his stick-there's your love-powder for you. Ah, sir, were we but wise and stout, what work should we make with them! But this humble love-making spoils them all. A rare way indeed to bring matters about with them: we are persuading them all day they are angels and goddesses, in order to use them at night like human creatures: we are like to succeed, truly. Car. For my part, I never yet could bear a slight from any thing, nor will I now. There's but one way, however, to resent it from a woman, and that's to drive her bravely from your heart, and place a worthier in her vacant throne. San. Now, with submission to my betters, I have another way, sir: I'll drive my tyrant from my heart, and place myself in her throne. Yes, I will be lord of my own tenement, and keep my household in order. Would you would do so too, master; for, look you, I have been servitor in a standing lies thumping against the rock of her fury; then it is, I say, that by certain emotions, which- -um- -cause, as one may suppose, a sort of convulsive-yes-hurricaniousum- -like-in short, a woman is like the devil. Car. Admirably reasoned indeed, Sancho. San. Pretty well, I thank Heaven: but here come the crocodiles, to weep us into mercy. Enter LEONORA and JACINTA. Master, let us shew ourselves men, and leave their briny tears to wash their dirty faces. me. Car. It is not in the power of charms to move San. Nor me, I hope; and yet I fear those eyes will look out sharp to snatch up such a prize. [Pointing to JACINTA. Jac. He's coming to us, madam, to beg pardon; but sure you'll never grant it him. Leo. If I do, may Heaven ne'er grant me mine. Jac. That's brave. Car. You look, madam, upon me, as if you thought I came to trouble you with my usual importunities: I'll ease you of that pain, by telling you, my business now is calmly to assure you, but I assure it you with heaven and hell for seconds; for may the joys of one fly from me, whilst the pains of t'other overtake me, if all your charms displayed e'er shake my resolution : I'll never see you more. Sun. Bon. ingredients it is formed of! If you saw cause for just disdain, why did you not at first repulse me? Why lead a slave in chains that could not grace your triumphs? If I am thus to be contemned, think on the favours you have done the wretch, and hide your face for ever. San. Well argued. Leo. I own you have hit the only fault the world can charge me with: the favours I have done to you, I am indeed ashamed of; but since women have their frailties, you'll allow me mine. Car. 'Tis well, extremely well, madam. I'm happy, however, you at last speak frankly. I thank soul I thank you; but for it; from you my don't expect me grovelling at your feet again; don't; for if I do- Leo. You will be treated as you deserve; trod upon. Cur. Give me patience ;-but I don't want it; I am calm. Madam, farewell; be happy, if you can; by Heavens, I wish you so; but never spread your net for me again; for if you do Leo. You'll be running into it. Car. Rather run headlong into fire and flames; rather be torn with pincers bit from bit; rather be broiled like martyrs upon gridirons--But I am wrong; this sounds like passion, and Heaven can tell I am not angry. Madam, I think we have no farther business together: your most humble servant. Leo. Farewell t'ye, sir. [To SANCHO. [Goes to the scene, and returns. Yet once more, before I go, (lest you should doubt my resolution ;) may I starve, perish, rot, be blasted, dead, damned, or any other thing that men or gods can think on, if, on any occasion whatever, civil or military, pleasure or business, love or hate, or any other accident of life, I, from this moment, change one word or look with you. [Going off, SANCHO claps him on the back. Leo. Content. Come away, Jacinta. Car. Most thankfully. This too I should restore you; it once was yours- -[Giving her a tablebook.] By your favour, madam-there is a line or two in it, I think you did me once the honour to write with your own fair hand. Here it is. [Reads. You love me, Carlos, and would know Whether I give you mine or no, Thus you have encouraged me, and thus you have deceived me. San. Very true. Leo. I have some faithful lines too; I think I can produce 'em. [Pulls out a table-book, reads, and then How long soe'er, to sigh in vain, My There, sir, take your poetry again. [Throwing it at his feet. 'Tis not much the worse for my wearing; 'twil serve again upon a fresh occasion. Jac. Well done. Car. I believe I can return the present, ma dam, with--a pocketful of your proseThere [Throwing a handful of letters at her feet. Leo. Jacinta, give me his letters. There, sir, not to be behind-hand with you. [Takes a handful of his letters out of a box, and throws them in his face. Jac. And there, and there, and there, sir. [JACINTA throws the rest at him. San. 'Cods my life, we want ammunition; but for a shift- There, and there, you saucy slut [SANCHO pulls a pack of dirty cards out of his pocket, and throws them at her; then they close; he pulls off her headclothes, and she his wig, and then part, she running to her mistress, he to his you. master. Jac. I think, madam, we have clearly the bet ter on't. Leo. For a proof, I resolve to keep the field. Jac. Have a care he don't rally and beat you yet though: Pray walk off. Leo. Fear nothing. San. How the armies stand and gaze at one another after the battle! What think you, sir, of shewing yourself a great general, by making an honourable retreat? Car. I scorn it. Oh, Leonora! Leonora! a heart like mine should not be treated thus. Leo. Carlos! Carlos! I have not deserved this usage. Car. Barbarous Leonora! But 'tis useless to re proach you: she that is capable of what you have done, is formed too cruel ever to repent of it. Go on then, tyrant; make your bliss complete; tor ment me still; for still, alas! I love enough to be tormented. Leo. Ah, Carlos! little do you know the ten der movements of that thing you name: the heart where love presides admits no thought against the honour of its ruler. Car. 'Tis not to call that honour into doubt, if, conscious of our own unworthiness, we interpret With yours, methinks, I'd never, never part. every frown to our destruction. 2 2 Leo. When jealousy proceeds from such hum- | ble apprehensions, it shews itself with more respect than yours has done. Car. And where a heart is guiltless, it easily forgives a greater crime. Leo. Forgiveness is not now in our debate: if both have been in fault, 'tis fit that both should suffer for it; our separation will do justice on us. Car. But since we are ourselves the judges of our crimes, what if we should inflict a gentler punishment? Leo. 'Twould but encourage us to sin again. Leo. 'Twould give a fresh occasion for the pleasing exercise of mercy. Car. Right and so we act the part of earth and heaven together, of men and gods, and taste of both their pleasures. Leo. The banquet's too inviting to refuse it. Car. Then thus let us fall on, and feed upon't for ever. [Carries her off, embracing her, and kissing Juc. Ah, woman! foolish, foolish woman! Jac. But don't expect I'll follow her example. San. I believe I shall find thou hast a great deal of her flesh, my charmer; but it won't do; I am all rock, hard rock, very marble. thy curious half hundred of pins in't, thou mad'st such a vapouring about yesterday: tell them carefully; there's not one wanting. San. There's thy ivory-hafted knife again; whet it well; 'tis so blunt, 'twill cut nothing but love. Jac. And there's thy pretty pocket scissars thou hast honoured me with; they'll cut off a leg or an arm; Heaven bless them. Sun. Here's the enchanted handkerchief you were pleased to endear with your precious blood, when the violence of your love at dinner, t'other day, made you cut your fingers.- -There. Blows his nose in it, and gives it her. Jac. The rascal so provokes me, I won't even keep his paltry garters from him. Do you see these, you pitiful beggarly scoundrel you?There, take 'em, there. [She takes her garters off, and slaps them about his face. San. I have but one thing more of thine. [Shewing his cudgel.] I own 'tis the top of all thy presents, and might be useful to me; but that thou may'st have nothing to upbraid me with, e'en take it again with the rest of them. [Lifting it up to strike her, she leaps about his neck. Jac. Ah, cruel Sancho!-Now beat me, Sancho; do. San. Rather, like Indian beggars, beat my precious self. [Throws away his stick, and embraces her. Rather let infants blood about the streets, Rather let all the wine about the cellar, Rather let--Oh, Jacinta-thou hast o'er come. Jac. A very pumice stone, you rascal you, if one would try thee; but to prevent thy humilities, and shew thee all submission would be vain; to convince thee thou hast nothing but misery and How foolish are the great resolves of man! despair before thee, here--take back thy pal-Resolves which we neither would keep, nor can. try thimble, and be in my debt for the shirts I When those bright eyes in kindness please to have made thee with it. shine, San. Nay, if y'are at that sport, mistress, I believe I shall lose nothing by the balance of thy presents. There, take thy tobacco-stopper, and stop thy Jac. Here-take thy sattin pin cushion, with Their goodness I must needs return with mine: SCENE I-The Street. Enter LOPEZ. ACT V. shall probably have a quiet hearing ;) look you, sir, by dint of reason, I intend to confound you. You are resolved, you say, to get into Leonora's lodgings, though the devil stand in the door-way? As soon as it is night, says my master to me, -Yes, Lopez, that's my resolution.-Very though it cost me my life, I'll enter Leonora's well, and what do you intend to do when you lodgings; therefore make haste, Lopez, prepare are there?- -Why, what an injured man should every thing necessary-three pair of pocket pis-do-make her sensible of--Make her sensible tols, two wide-mouthed blunderbusses, some six ells of sword-blade, and a couple of dark lanthorns. When my master said this to me, Sir, said I to my master, (that is, I would have said it, if I had not been in such a fright, I could say nothing; however, I'll say it to him now, and Were of a pudding: don't you see she's a jade? She'll raise the house about your ears, arm the whole family, and set the great dog at you.there legions of devils to repulse me, in such a cause I could disperse them all.- -Why then, you have no occasion for help, sir; you may leave me at home to lay the cloth.No; thou art my ancient friend, my fellow-traveller; and to reward thy faithful services, this night thou shalt partake my danger and my glory.Sir, I have got glory enough under you already, to content any reasonable servant for his life.-Thy modesty makes me willing to double my bounty: this night may bring eternal honour to thee and thy family.Eternal honour, sir, is too much, in conscience, for a serving-man; besides, ambition has been many a great soul's undoing.I doubt thou art afraid, my Lopez: thou shalt be armed with back, with breast, and head-piece. -They will encumber me in my retreat.Retreat, my hero! thou never shalt retreat.Then, by my troth, I'll never go, sir.But here he comes. Enter LORENZO. Lor. Will it never be night? Sure, 'tis the longest day the sun e'er travelled. Lop. Would 'twere as long as those in Greenland, sir, that you might spin out your life t'other half year. I don't like these nightly projects; a man cann't see what he does: we shall have some scurvy mistake or other happen; a brace of bullets blunder through your head in the dark, perhaps, and spoil all your intrigue. Lor. Away, you trembling wretch, away. Lop. Nay, sir, what I say is purely for your safety; for as to myself-uds-death! I no more value the losing a quart of blood, than I do drinking a quart of wine. Besides, my veins are too full; my physician advised me but yesterday to let go twenty ounces for my health. So you see, sir, there's nothing of that in the case. Lor. Then let me hear no other objections; for till I see Leonora I must lie upon the rack: 1 cannot bear her resentment, and will pacify her this night, or not live to see to-morrow. Lop. Well, sir, since you are so determined, I sha'n't be impertinent with any farther advice; but I think you have laid your design to [He coughs]-(I have got such a cold to-day)-to get in privately, have you not? Lor. Yes, and have taken care to be introduced as far as her chamber-door with all secrecy. Lop. [He coughs. This unlucky cough; I had rather have had a fever at another time. Sir, I should be sorry to do you more harm than good upon this occasion: If this cough should come upon me in the midst of the action, [Coughs,] and give the alarm to the family, I should not forgive myself as long as I lived. Lor. I have greater ventures than that to take my chance for, and cann't dispense with your attendance, sir. Lop. This 'tis to be a good servant, and make one's self necessary. Enter TOLEDO. Tol. Sir, I am glad I have found you. I am a man of honour, you know, and do always profess losing my life upon a handsome occasion: Sir, I come to offer you my service. I am inform ed, from unquestionable hands, that Don Carlos is enraged against you to a dangerous degree; and that old Alvarez has given positive direc tions to break the legs and arms of your servant Lopez. Lop. Look you there now; I thought what 'twould come to. What do they meddle with me for? What have I to do in my master's amours? The old Don's got out of his senses, I think: Have I married his daughter? Lor. Fear nothing; we'll take care o' theeSir, I thank you for the favour of your intelligence; 'tis nothing, however, but what I expected, and am provided for. Tol. Sir, I would advise you to provide yourself with good friends: I desire the honour to keep your back hand myself. Lop. 'Tis very kind indeed. Pray, sir, have you never a servant with you could hold a racket for me too? Tol. I have two friends, fit to head two armies; and yet-a word in your ear-they sha'n't cost you above a ducat a-piece. Lop. Take 'em by all means, sir; you were never offered a better pennyworth in your life. Tol. Ah, sir-little Diego-you have heard of him; he'd have been worth a legion upon this occasion: You know, I suppose, how they have served him--They have hanged him, but he made a noble execution; they clapped the rack and the priest to him at once, but could neither get a word of confession nor a groan of repent ance: he died mighty well, truly. Lor. Such a man is indeed much to be regretted: As for the rest of your escort, captain, I thank you for 'em, but shall not use 'em. Tol. I'm sorry for't, sir, because I think you go in very great danger: I'm much afraid your rival won't give you fair play. Lop. If he does, I'll be hanged: he's a damned passionate fellow, and cares not what mischief he does. Lor. I shall give him a very good opportunity; for I'll have no other guards about me but you, sir. So come along. Lop. Why, sir, this is the sin of presumption; setting Heaven at defiance; making a jack-pudding of a blunderbuss. Lor. No more, but follow. Hold; turn this way; I see Camillo there. I would avoid him, till I see what part he takes in this odd affair of his sister's; for I would not have the quarrel fixed with him, if it be possible to avoid it. [Exit LORENZO. Lop. Sir-Captain Toledo, one word, if you please, sir. I'm mighty sorry to see my master won't accept of your friendly offer. Look ye, I'm not very rich; but as far as the expence of a dol lar went, if you'd be so kind to take a little care of me, it should be at your service. Tol. Let me see:-a dollar you say? But suppose I'm wounded? Lop. Why, you shall be put to no extraordinary charge upon that: I have been 'prentice to a barber, and will be your surgeon myself. |
