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But if Love don't, Cash does, and Cash alone:
Cash rules the grove, and fells it too besides;
Without cash, camps were thin, and courts were none;
Without cash, Malthus tells you-« take no brides.»
So Cash rules Love the ruler, on his own

High ground, as Virgin Cynthia sways the tides;
And as for « Heaven being Love, » why not say honey
Is vax? Heaven is not Love, 'tis Matrimony.


Is not all love. prohibited whatever,

Excepting marriage? which is love no doubt, After a sort; but somehow people never

With the same thought the two words have helped out: Love may exist with marriage and should ever,

And marriage also may exist without;

But love sans bans is both a sin and shame,
And ought to go by quite another name.


Now if the court» and « camp» and «grove » be not
Recruited all with constant married men,

Who never coveted their neighbour's lot,
I say that line's a lapsus of the pen;-
Strange too in my «buon camerado » Scott,
So celebrated for his morals, when

My Jeffrey held him up as an example
To me;-of which these morals are a sample.


Well, if I don't succeed, I have succeeded,
And that's enough; succeeded in my youth,
The only time when much success is needed:

And my success produced what I in sooth

Cared most about; it need not now be pleaded

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Whate'er it was, 'twas mine; I've paid, in truth, Of late the penalty of such success,...

But have not learned to wish it any less.


That suit in Chancery, which some persons plead
In an appeal to the unborn, whom they,
In the faith of their procreative creed,
Baptize Posterity, or future clay,-
To me seems but a dubious kind of reed
To lean on for support in any way;
Since odds are that Posterity will know
No more of them, than they of her, I trow.


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Why, I'm Posterity-and so are you;

And whom do we remember? Not a hundred. Were every memory written down all true,

The tenth or twentieth name would be but blundered; Even Plutarch's Lives have but picked out a few,

And 'gainst those few your annalists have thundered; And Mitford in the nineteenth century Gives, with Greek truth, the good old Greek the lie *

* See Mitford's Greece. «Gracia Verax,» His great pleasure consists in praising tyrants, abusing Plutarch, spelling oddly, and writing quaintly; and what is strange after all, his is the best modern history of Greece in any language, and he is perhaps the best of all modern historians whatsoever. Having named his sins, it is but fair to state his virtues—learning, labour, research, wrath, and partiality. I call the latter virtues in a writer, because they make him write in earnest.


Good People all, of every degree,

Ye gentle readers and ungentle writers In this twelfth Canto 'tis my wish to be

As serious as if I had for inditers

Malthus and Wilberforce : the last set free

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The Negroes, and is worth a million fighters;
While Wellington has but enslaved he whites,
And Malthus does the thing 'gainst which the writes.

I'm serious- -so are all men upon paper;
And why should I not form my speculation,
And hold up to the sun my little taper?

Mankind just now seem wrapt in meditation
On Constitutions and Steam-boats of vapour;
While sages write against all procreation,
Unless a man can calculate his means
Of feeding brats the moment his wife weans.

That's noble! That's romantic! For my part,
I think that << Philo-genitiveness »> is-
(Now here's a word quite after my own heart,
Though there's a shorter a good deal than this,
If that politeness set it not apart;

But I'm resolved to say nought that's amiss) —
I say, methinks that « Philo-genitiveness'
Might meet from men a little more forgiveness.

And now to business. Oh, my gentle Juan!
Thou art in London-in that pleasant place
Where every kind of mischief's daily brewing,
Which can await warm youth in its wild race.

'Tis true, that thy career is not a new one;

Thou art no novice in the headlong chase Of early life; but this is a new land

Which foreigners can never understand.


What with a small diversity of climate,

Of hot or cold, mercurial or sedate, I could send forth my mandate like a primate Upon the rest of Europe's social state; But thou art the most difficult to rhyme at, Great Britain, which the Muse may penetrate. All countries have their «Lions,» but in thee There is but one superb menagerie.


But I am sick of politics. Begin,

<< Paulo Majora.» Juan undecided

Amongst the paths of being « taken in, »

Above the ice had like a skaiter glided:

When tired of play, he flirted without sin

With some of those fair creatures who have prided Themselves on innocent tantalization,

And hate all vice except its reputation.


But these are few, and in the end they make
Some devilish escapade or stir, which shows

That even the purest people may mistake

Their way through virtue's primrose paths of snows; And then men stare, as if a new ass spake

→ To Balaam, and from tongue to ear o'erflows: Quick silver Small Talk, ending (if you not it)" With the kind world's Amen!« Who would have thought it? >>



The little Leila, with her orient eyes,

And taciturn Asiatic disposition,

(Which saw all Western things with small surprise, To the surprise of people of condition,

Who think that novelties are butterflies
To be pursued as food for inanition)
Her charming figure and romantic history.
Became a kind of fashionable mystery.


The women much divided- as is usual
Amongst the sex in little things or great.
Think not, fair creatures, that I mean to abuse you all-
I have always liked you better than I state:
Since I've grown moral, still I must accuse you all
Of being apt to talk at a great rate;

And now there was a general sensation
Amongst you, about Leila's education.


In one point only were you settled-and

You had reason; 'twas that a young Child of Grace, As beautiful as her own native land,

And far away, the last bud of her race,

Howe'er our friend Don Juan might command
Himself for five, four three, or two year's space,
Would be much better taught beneath the eye
Of Peeresses whose follies had run dry.


So first there was a generous emulation,
And then there was a general compétition

To undertake the orphan's education.

As Juan was a person of condition,

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